maladies

It's no lie that I love a lot of Burton's works. I love his artwork and his style and his strange creatures and quirky characters, especially in his earliest original works.

But it is also no lie that I grow more than tired of hearing his name in comparison with my work/me.

It seems that most people are under the impression that Burton created German Expressionism, black and white, "gothic"-themes, distorted angles (German Expressionism) and... bird skulls... or skulls of any sort.

I also really wish more people knew who Edward Gorey is, as it is in fact his style that is the huge inspiration behind my film layouts, not Burton. The style I am going for is a sort of... mesh of classic B&W horror lighting and Edward Gorey rough-hatching and patterning. (Which, ironically, I see a lot of Gorey influence in Burton's work... which isn't a bad thing at all, but it goes back to the complaint that "he did not invent... etc.")

Janet was not inspired by Gina Davis' Beetlejuice character during/after the face-stretching scene, as she is actually an in-joke I made to amuse myself when an overly thin girl remarked in my presence once that she was too fat. The phrase "she eats like a bird" mixed with the pelvis bones jutting out of her cheer leading uniform lead to Janet's anorexic physique and grotesque skeletal bird head.

I realize that people will always associate, but I also stand behind the idea of asking "have you ever actually seen Burton's artwork"? his stuff is very pleasing, but he does little more than scribble and use dynamic shapes and sizes on most of his works.

But I've noticed people like crediting Coraline to Burton, too, so I suppose anything slightly "eerie" is going to go back to him regardless of directorial style or character design style.

I just really like skeletons and the fantasy of a dark aesthetic D: which is why I like his movies, yet, but not what I think of when I sit down to draw.

I wish I hadn't left my gouache, acrylic and brushes in Valencia. But I did.

I brought my tablet home thinking I would do a lot of digital work.

I didn't.

Lots of life questions over break and lots of realizations. I realize that happiness cannot come from my lonely isolation in this home state and that I am, indeed, a happy and adjusted individual... perhaps still a bit strange I think... but not the sort of unhappy person I always thought I was.

When I wrote my artist's statement to get into school, I opened it with the line that living in a small, isolated town was a lot like living in your own coffin. It provides a roof over your head and a comfortable place to sleep, but you're still rotting away into waste. It really does feel like that.

You'll have to excuse me. For some reason, the break back home and being away from a place where I do actually feel like I am not quite so abnormal hasn't been a happy time for me and I am, thus, being an annoying and whiny mope.

I will try to do that new-years improvement meme and brace myself for the annoying cries of "you were better when you drew animu!" that I get so tired of hearing. It saddens me I cannot draw what personally interests me while being much more honest to my interests without the constant comparison to things I did simply to please what I felt was a demand/need to do.

I'm up working on my storyboards... I was sick for two weeks prior to Thanksgiving and it seems I've never quite regained my momentum. Two weeks of all-nighters or full-bed-rest really messed me up when it came to my homework schedule. (working with all-nighters while you're sick? NOT a good idea. I made myself sicker at one point...)

Only three more weeks to go... but they seem like 3 stressful weeks. I probably won't go to figure drawing again this semester (I saved my absences so I could knock that huge  7-hour block out to have time to animate/sculpt/paint/storyboard). I did a lot of figure drawings I really liked already, ones I can use for my review, so it's good.

I really really am ready for the break... to sleep in my own bed (one that is not hard as a slab of rock) is a welcome idea.

One last thought of the night, too... is it just me or, in my two year absence, has DA become even more overrun by softcore porn than I remember? I left right when the inflation/feeder fetishes were breaking out like crazy and now I see a lot of softcore porn when I randomly look at the various front page settings.  Seems like its more than I remembered... huh.

I might try to go sleep now...

I love school but I'm ready for a real break now... even though I'll probably be working on my film over christmas. sigh.